And now for our very first “Creepy Twitter Account” submission, I present to you…this guy. Yay.
Click the picture to be transported to a far away creepy land.
Being happy is like sleeping on a shitty recliner, one that lays flat if you put your weight on it, but doesn’t lock into place. You know the ones I’m talking about? The footrest locks but the backrest lays back only if you keep it laid back using your weight.
I hate those freakin’ chairs.
You can relax, but you can’t relax too much. This is like happiness. The world is such a problematic shithole, maintaining happiness requires at least low-level vigilance. The minute you get SO relaxed that you fall asleep— or so happy that you’re entirely careless— the recliner snaps upright. As the True Grit character Mattie Ross said, “You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God.”
Maybe one solution, in both cases, is obesity. Or a dog* spooning your head (*a neutered dog)
Weird looking bird! (Taken with Instagram)
Taken with Instagram
Poor Sasquatch, is he a figment of his own imagination?
But then I remember that soon I may be happy. And hope is like electricity.
(Source: lowerthanhades, via tuckyeah)
17, I’m on the left.
No idea why I tweet —OTHER THAN TO MAKE MORTAL ENEMIES— but I’m pretty sure it isn’t to jumpstart a career in comedy. No work could be as fun as the stuff me and my buddies filmed every summer, and no fame as grand as hearing about VHS copies-of-VHS copies of our movies being passed around schools that we didn’t even attend.
@bridger_w and @ShittingtonUK bickering — preserved for posterity
AND YES I KNOW THE GREEN AREA OF THAT MAP IS MEXICO. WHAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW IS THAT “MEXICO” IS BASICALLY DIRT THAT FLOATS ON TOP OF A BIG SEA. YOU CAN SWIM UNDER MEXICO, HOW DO YOU THINK THE MAYANS INFILTRATE OUR BORDERS?
THEY HAVE GILLS, GOSH DARNIT.
I have visited nowhere in the world besides these areas of the oceans. Underwater. AND I NEVER EVEN BROKE THE SURFACE.