And now for our very first “Creepy Twitter Account” submission, I present to you…this guy. Yay.
Click the picture to be transported to a far away creepy land.
Happy
Being happy is like sleeping on a shitty recliner, one that lays flat if you put your weight on it, but doesn’t lock into place. You know the ones I’m talking about? The footrest locks but the backrest lays back only if you keep it laid back using your weight.
I hate those freakin’ chairs.
You can relax, but you can’t relax too much. This is like happiness. The world is such a problematic shithole, maintaining happiness requires at least low-level vigilance. The minute you get SO relaxed that you fall asleep— or so happy that you’re entirely careless— the recliner snaps upright. As the True Grit character Mattie Ross said, “You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God.”
Maybe one solution, in both cases, is obesity. Or a dog* spooning your head (*a neutered dog)
“Hey Dustin! Getcha ass ova here! We buildin’ bird feeders! Peanut butter pinecone craft time motherfucka!”
“E.J. back there havin’ a starin’ contest with da sun, slowin’ down the whole pack… homeboy shoulda gone to Space Camp.”
17, I’m on the left.
No idea why I tweet —OTHER THAN TO MAKE MORTAL ENEMIES— but I’m pretty sure it isn’t to jumpstart a career in comedy. No work could be as fun as the stuff me and my buddies filmed every summer, and no fame as grand as hearing about VHS copies-of-VHS copies of our movies being passed around schools that we didn’t even attend.
